The Art of Becoming: Part 1: Be More

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~ e.e. cummings

This article is the first in a series I’ve entitled “The Art of Becoming.” I called this series “The Art of Becoming” because these are truly the steps that will help you become the personyou aspire to be, taking the actions and achieving the results you desire. I want to share with you the four key steps to accomplishing anything you want in your life. The first step is to “Be More.”http://www.flickr.com/photos/sweetonveg/5179031393/

It sounds like a strange question: “Who am I being?” But you can have no outward action without first making important shifts on the inside. Who is the person that you are on the inside? Are you truly thinking and believing like the person you want to be?

If you want to be a person who truly achieves real success in your finances, your law practice, your relationships, your spiritual or physical health and well-being, there are certain things you must believe in your own heart and mind. You cannot expect yourself to take new action, receive new experiences or things, or have the opportunity to share more if you do not first do the internal work to start that process in motion.

First, you must believe yourself capable of doing and receiving the things you envision and desire. Which of these statements are you more likely to say to yourself: “I know I am capable of taking the actions I need to take”, or “I could never do that. I’m not good enough. I’ll never succeed”? Instead of comparing yourself to others by saying, “She is so much better than me”, or “I don’t have what it takes to do this”, say, “It doesn’t matter what others do—I am the only ‘me’”, or “I have all the skills and knowledge it takes to start doing what I want to do, and I can learn the rest!”

Second, you must truly believe this in your heart and mind. It is not enough just to say this flippantly to yourself once in awhile or write it on a piece of paper that you look at from time to time. You must completely internalize these beliefs about yourself. If you do not truly believe yourself capable and able to act and take responsibility for your own actions, you will never take the actions you need to take. This takes time, repetition, and focus. Don’t believe that this will come immediately and you will wake up tomorrow believing different things about yourself than you do right now, but persist. It will take a while to re-teach yourself how to “talk to yourself.” (Check out Shad Helmstetter’s great book, What To Say When You Talk To Yourself for some ideas on how to do this.)

Third, when in doubt, act “as if.”http://www.flickr.com/photos/chelseasallyphotography/5325437788/What would the person you want to become believe about herself? Sometimes it is hard to make these shifts about what you believe about yourself and who you ultimately want to be. But you can take the time to figure out what others who are being and achieving what you want to be and achieve, believe about themselves and the world around them. Once you know that, if you can internalize those beliefs and start “being” the person you know you ultimately want to be, you will start to be that person.

As Cary Grant said, “I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be until finally I became that person. Or he became me.”Cary Grant habitually believed he was a famous, starring actor, among other things. He showed up like one, believed himself capable of being one, and ultimately became one. You can do the same: begin to consistently believe you are a financially abundant person, a loving partner, a dutiful parent, a spiritually-grounded person, or enjoying a physically fit body. Become this person in your mind, believe the things that kind of person would believe about yourself and the world around you.

TODAY: Take the first step. In order to “be more”, you must (1) believe in yourself, (2) internalize that belief, and (when in doubt) (3) act “as if”, believing and showing up the way you know the person you want to ultimately “be” would “show up” in the world.

Next we will consider the second step in “The Art of Becoming.” These are simple, but not easy steps. They encompass the powerful growth process that you must work through in order to become the person you want to be, and to achieve the results in life that you desire.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sweetonveg/5179031393/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/chelseasallyphotography/5325437788/

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