Balance Work/Life Articles Category

Put on Your Own Air Mask First

March 27th, 2011 at 9:50 am by Kendra Brodin

“When you can lovingly be present to yourself, your presence to others takes on a deeper quality also.” ~ MacRina Wiederkehr

Every time I get on an airplane, I listen to the flight attendant’s instructions. Put on your seat belt, make sure your tray and seat back are in the upright position. If there is an emergency landing in the water, the seat cushion doubles as a flotation device. And the all-important rule: if the air masks drop down from the ceiling, pull the line tight then put on your own air mask first before assisting others…

Though it is very, very hard to say “good-bye” to my two sweet daughters when my husband and I leave town together, I believe that time spent alone with my husband and the deepening and maintenance of our relationship is actually something that we do both for ourselves and for the benefit of our children. So even though I shed some tears when I kiss my little ones bye-bye, I know we’ll be back, small trinket gifts in hand for them, and we will give them an even greater gift—the gift of a strong relationship between their parents.

This also goes for taking care of yourself and your relationships if you are a single parent or don’t have children. The people around you who care about you and whom you care about will benefit from the time you take to maintain yourself and your key relationships, be that caring for yourself physically through exercise and healthy eating, spiritually through meditation and quiet time, or emotionally through journaling or fun time with friends or by yourself. All parts of your life are interconnected, and giving positive attention and care to one area always benefits the other areas as well.

Life is synergistic. The better the functioning and fulfillment you experience in one area of life, the better you will feel about the other areas of life and the better you will function in those areas. I wanted to share this with you because it reminded me of this important lesson:

“Unplug” from work every once in a while. Nurture yourself with your own self-care—exercise, time in the sauna, quiet time in the sun with some good books, whatever it is that gives you that precious “me” time. And don’t feel guilty for doing it either. Make a rule around it if you have to by telling the significant people in your life that on Saturday from two until three o’clock, you aren’t to be bothered unless it’s a crisis. They’ll soon figure out that losing their favorite pair of shoes is not an emergency that requires your immediate attention!

I know that my time of self-care will improve my peace of mind, my ability to be fully present with my spouse and children, and my efficiency and creativity in my work, along with many other benefits. I am reminded of the vital importance of taking this time to rejuvenate and reinvigorate myself. Without “me time” we only operate at 75-90% of our capacity. We give up too much energy in anxiety, overwhelm, and exhaustion. And that can lead to irritability, instability, resentment, and anger. Why put anyone through that when a few minutes of downtime will put gas back in our tank?

So when that air mask drops down, what are you going to do? Take care of yourself first. It might go against your nature—and some people may think you’re selfish. But remember, you cannot care for others if you aren’t functioning at 100%.

TODAY: Think about these questions: What are you doing to nurture yourself? How have you cared for your body, mind, spirit, and relationships lately? Can you think how caring for one facet of your life can benefit the other areas? This process of evaluation will bring you a clearer picture of how lacking you are in taking care of yourself. If you don’t put yourself at number one, who else will?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/beatnic/13880423/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/guttersnipe76/3426770800/

Tags: Balance work & home, Nurture self, Self-care, Take care of yourself
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Being Happy in an Unhappy World

March 22nd, 2011 at 9:48 am by Kendra Brodin

“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.” ~ Andrew Carnegie

I’ve started watching much less news because of its doom-and-gloom coverage. You have to look long and hard to find anything positive covered by the newscasters, and it really doesn’t serve me to get depressed by learning about all of the terrible things happening around the world that I can do absolutely nothing about. So I generally pulled the plug. (Though I certainly try to stay abreast of news situations that could affect my family.)

But it is so hard to do, and very few people seem to be able to go very long without reading an online newspaper or news website. Every time something negative, discomforting, disconcerting, terrifying, or horrible comes across the news wires, they ingest it. It becomes part of their psyche for the day. They dwell on it, they devour it, and they allow it to transmute any positive energy they had into something that feels depressed, scared, or life-sucking.

In addition, when we see terrible things happening around the world, we feel almost guilty being happy in our own lives. How can I feel happiness when people are getting sick and dying? How can I experience bliss when there are wars taking place? How can I feel pleasure eating a lovely meal when people are starving somewhere else in the world?

A better question is, how can you not? What does your feeling sad, helpless, upset, and hopeless do for all of those suffering? Do not misunderstand me—my heart goes out to all of those suffering in any way. I am incredibly tender-hearted, almost to a fault. The tears flow freely when I hear of others suffering.

But let’s also be realistic. You have a life to lead. You have a family and friends and circle of influence to be present for. If you can’t do anything about the situations that are bringing you grief, then do not engage. This holds true not only for news from around the globe, but also for any other situation in your life. If you can’t improve the situation, exit it. Don’t engage. Slowly walk away mentally and emotionally, or run, depending on the situation. But don’t just sit there at the kitchen table or your work desk getting progressively more depressed and resigned. That is not a place from which real positive work or progress can come.

Better yet, take some positive action. Instead of sitting there bemoaning the starving children in Africa, get out your checkbook or go online and send a contribution to a humanitarian organization. Don’t just sit there and do nothing. As Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” You can make a difference. Even when you think to yourself, “Oh, my $25 won’t change anything,” you are wrong. That $25 will feed a child for almost a month. And you can bet your bottom dollar that it makes a difference to that child. Taken together with the contributions of thousands of others who refuse to sit and wallow when they could be doing something to change the situation, that $25 might just start a wave of change and positive impact around the world. Don’t just sit there and complain—do something to make a change! You’ll feel better, and you never know what could come from your action.

Regardless, give yourself permission to be happy, to be joyful, to have bliss in your life. You will begin a ripple effect that will be endless. Share joy and love with others, they will share it with their circle of influence, and so on. With every bit of brilliance you share from your strong, positive center, you will empower and equip someone else to do the same. You do not have to be negative and sullen just because there are tough things going on in the world around you. There will always be sad and terrible things going on. That does not mean that your life happiness has to be put on hold indefinitely.

You can choose in every moment where you put your focus. Focus on the things that bring you joy, fulfillment, happiness, peace, and that make the world around you a better place. These are the things that you want to expand in your life, and these are the things—your own emotions, reactions, and behaviors—that you have the power to choose and change in every moment.

TODAY: Give yourself permission to have life, and have it abundantly! Don’t get sucked into the world’s tragedies. Do something positive on issues you care about, pray for those involved, and then live your life the best you can, experiencing all the bliss you can in the wonderful moments that you have in this lifetime. Choose bliss and lead a life based on that decision. It will make all the difference!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/27371793@N08/3531643273/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/paloooza/1907679033/

Tags: Be realistic, Focus on Positive, Stay positive, Take positive action
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Pray and Move Your Feet!

March 16th, 2011 at 9:56 am by Kendra Brodin

“I think there is something, more important than believing: Action! The world is full of dreamers, there aren't enough who will move ahead and begin to take concrete steps to actualize their vision.”~ W. Clement Stone

Physical fitness and exercise have never been my strong suits. In fact, I have started more fitness, exercise, and healthy eating plans than I choose to admit (or I can’t admit to because I seriously cannot count them all!) I finally made a strong commitment to myself to get in shape. I needed the energy that I have heard comes from regular exercise. Ditto for the mental clarity (boy, could I use that one!) And certainly as time marches on, I can use regular exercise for what it does to keep my body strong, healthy, and fit.

So I enrolled in a class called “Power Pump” at the local gym. No—not “Powder Puff”—which some of you who know me closely think would be a better name for any sort of exercise class that I promise to do regularly. “Power Pump” is 50 minutes of intense weightlifting with hand weights, bars and a good dose of abdominal work, lunges, squats—you get the idea. Twice a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have been at the gym challenging myself to get in shape.

This class has actually made me a much, much more regular exerciser than I ever have been in my life. And I actually just signed up for more of the same bi-weekly routine again. Yikes!

But being in a class and finally getting into the groove of regular exercise has reminded me of an important lesson. Sometimes—many times—we are quick to dream, to set goals, to have visions. And these are all very, very good first steps in moving forward toward the ultimate realization of something we want. But it is not enough.

Without action, our dreams will never come true. Sorry to rain on your parade (and my own, sometimes!) but we need to “pray and move our feet!” Simply put, have dreams, have goals, pray, visualize, do all of your mental work, and then GET MOVING! Be that physically moving (as mine has been in “Power Pump”) or “moving” by doing what you know needs to be done in your home, practice, or relationships—nothing is going to change until you get the ball rolling with some ACTION!

Think of it—you may dream and long for a clean orderly home (I know I do!), but it is not going to clean itself. Those boxes packed away in the garage or basement or attic are not going to sort themselves. Scrubbing bubbles only go so far—it also takes elbow grease!

Or in your career—there are certainly things that you know need to be done, but they are not your favorite things to do, or you simply find ways to put them off. Is that really going to get you ahead? Are you really going to look back at the end of the day and know you made solid progress toward your goal? No—not with hours spent on Facebook, Twitter, and organizing your pen drawer and color-coding your files, just to put off the work that you know you should be doing!

Even those things that we truly do pray for and ask for God’s support on—we need to do our part. “Faith without works is dead”, the Apostle Paul said. It’s true—faith is a critical component, but works are, too. God told Noah to build the ark, but Noah didn’t sit around and wait for a boat the size of a football field to drop from the sky. Noah built the ark, plank by plank, board by board. Now that was some hard work. Noah truly was “praying and moving his feet.”

So remember, dreaming and praying and believing deeply in all of those things that you want to bring into your life is a vital first step in achieving, but the second and just as important piece is ACTION!

TODAY: What one action can you take on an important goal to make progress and truly feel that you are on your way toward bringing the thing that you want into your life? Think of this both through your believing and through your ACTION!

Choose that one action and do it. Don’t do anything else until you do it, and see how great you feel knowing you are one step closer to that dream!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/armadillo444/2375766757/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pewari/3411878510/

Tags: Achieve What You Want, Career Dreams, Make Your Dreams Come True
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Look At Your Watch: The Time is NOW!

March 12th, 2011 at 10:06 am by Kendra Brodin

“I am tomorrow, or some future day, what I establish today. I am today what I established yesterday, or some previous day.” ~ James Joyce

It is easy to talk about living fully in the present, but most people are unwilling or unable to actually do it. We get so caught up in the future, that we forget to enjoy the here and now. We think about upcoming work deadlines while on vacation. We worry about dessert instead of enjoying dinner. We allow the present moment to be wasted because we are mentally in another place, missing out on the beauty to be found in the here and now.

Don’t squander your present by allowing it to be smothered by guilt about the past or worries about the future. The “now” is all you will ever have, this moment, this second. Mentally drifting away from the now moves you from the present into the past or the future, and ironically uses up your present by focusing on times that already passed or times that may come. There are dangers of dwelling in the past, and worrying about the future will rob you of the peace of mind and real success you could be experiencing right now. If you practice truly living in the present moment, you can stubbornly refuse to allow past problems or future worries to define you.

Look around you. Everything you need is here, right now. The air you are breathing. The clothes you are wearing. Your mind and your senses to take in this information and transform yourself. You are taken care of. Breathe it in, accept this gift. Be grateful.

Once you are truly appreciating your present and taking responsibility for your part in creating it, you can then begin to create a picture of your future. Don’t worry about the future—that is not the answer. But picture the future you wish to experience, take actions aligned with that image while being content in your present circumstance.

Remember to first be unattached and unencumbered by the past. Hanging on will hang you up.

Next, be content with what you have and who you are now, in the present. This is your reality.

Finally, be passionate and definite in your purpose as you move toward becoming your ideal self and living your ideal life. Don’t worry about what has happened before, and don’t worry about what could possibly happen in the future. Know what you want and who you want to be and live each day as that “you”.

Don’t label yourself, and don’t allow others to label you. You are not a label—the map is not the territory. You are so much more than words, adjectives, and descriptions. Labels will only serve to stifle and negate who you really are. Instead of living up to a label, become the very best version of yourself you can be, whatever that looks like.

As you bless and release your past and become content in your present, you are ready to confidently move into the future, a future you are creating moment by moment, with every decision and action you take. You are not your past, what you have done or been or how others have treated you. You are capable of incredible things—believe that now, in this moment. You have the power to become the person you want to be—don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.

Everything that happened in your past is no longer here. It is finished. Think of your life as a play that has several different acts. You are the main character—do it boldly! And many other characters come into the play for maybe just one scene or maybe several scenes. Their characters are vital to the overall play, or they would not have been written into the script. Some characters will treat you well, some will not, but the play is not about them. Let them say their lines and walk off the stage. The play is yours. You are the writer. You hold the pencil that writes the script, the future. What will your character become, experience, and achieve?

The decision is all yours.

TODAY: Reflect on your gift: the present. Enjoy your everyday moments. Make a promise to yourself to live fully in the moment, not wasting your precious life energy worry about the past you cannot change or the future that you are in the process of creating. What will come, will come. By actively and consciously living in the present, you can control and determine the future! Be grateful, intentional, and alive in this beautiful moment, and you will become much more efficient, effective, and at peace.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/alancleaver/2661425133/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/torley/3374923250/

Tags: Appreciate Today, Enjoy Today, Live in the Present
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Live Your Legacy: Be Known, Not Just Remembered

March 11th, 2011 at 10:11 am by Kendra Brodin

“We were meant to give our lives away. Spend more time living your legacy instead of worrying about leaving it.” ~ Lee J. Colan

It was difficult losing my grandfather, the patriarch of my mother’s large family and my extended family. As my family prepared for his funeral, I started thinking about the word “legacy” and how our legacy lives on long after we are gone.

According to the dictionary, a legacy is “something handed down from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past.” Many people think of a legacy as purely financial or material, items or money bequeathed from one generation to another. But I believe it is so much more.

When we think about what is actually handed down from person to person, generation to generation, it is about so much more than money. We are influenced by so many other people in our lives. Certainly we are influenced by our family and friends, and when those people leave our lives, they leave us a very personal legacy given our close relationship with them.

Celebrities and other famous people leave legacies. Think about wildly famous people who have passed away and consider what they have left behind. When the world sat riveted by the passing of Michael Jackson, many commentators considered what his legacy would be. What did we learn from Michael Jackson? What will Michael be remembered for? Certainly that varies from person to person, just as our memories of any individual will be our own and will differ from others around us.

I considered the life of my grandfather, whose influence was great. While I don’t want to dwell on his passing, he left a legacy for me, my family, and others that he touched. As I think about some of the lessons I learned from him, three come to mind immediately.

Keep a sense of humor. My grandfather had a wicked, wry sense of humor that never failed to make me laugh. Even in the midst of incredibly difficult times, he would have a quip or a little comment that would at first make you wonder if he actually just said what he said, and then, when you realized he did say what you thought he said, you burst out laughing. Sometimes you can only laugh or cry at a situation. Why not find something to laugh about? Oftentimes we can’t change what is happening around us, but we can shift our outlook by finding a bit of humor or levity.
Persist. Never give up. My grandfather grew an incredibly successful business out of nothing. He never gave up, even in the face of challenges and uphill struggles. He had such incredible drive and determination to create what he had envisioned and build a business that provided for his family. When it seems like we are going to fail, we need to evaluate the situation, change the course if necessary, but never give up in the face of adversity.
Remember your family. In the end, the greatest legacy of mygrandfather is found in my family, my aunts and uncles, my many cousins, and the memories of holidays and times together. I remember riding with my grandfather out to the quarries to weigh semi-trucks full of rocks for the summer when I was 14-years-old. It was my first job. But I got to ride with my grandpa each day every day all summer, and I am grateful for that time together much more than I am grateful for any paycheck I received.

As we consider the legacy of those who have gone before us, I challenge you to live your own legacy. Don’t wait until the end of your life to discover what others learned from you or will attribute to you. Decide NOW what you want your legacy to be, and then live it. Every moment of every day decide what kind of person you want to be known as, what you want your children and grandchildren to remember about you, what you want others to say about you when you are gone. And live it now.

TODAY: Write out what you want to be known as at the end of your life. Write what you want those you love to say about you when your time on earth is complete. Reflect on this, and start creating that legacy today, this minute. If you find yourself out of congruence with this vision of your own legacy, gently correct yourself and remind yourself what you want your legacy to be. It will be a gift to those you love and to the world, and it will give you incredible peace of mind, congruence, and integrity as you become a real success – the living embodiment of your highest ideals and values.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/edanley/4289324169/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/leader_maximo/3475111817/

Tags: Be Known Now, Business Planning, Your Legacy
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