Self-Improvement Articles Category

7 Success Strategies: Part 6: Always Be Learning

March 4th, 2011 at 1:52 am by Kendra Brodin

“I don't think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.” ~Abraham Lincoln

This article is the sixth in a series called “7 Strategies of Successful Women Lawyers.” With all of the powerful strategies and techniques that successful women lawyers employ, I am revealing the top seven ways I have seen successful women lawyers create and enjoy their own “real success.

This success strategy is “Always Be Learning.”

It’s true that the most successful people in society are also the most voracious learners. When you visit the home of a fantastically wealthy person, chances are very, very good that you will find a well-stocked personal library, full of materials not only on business, but also many kinds of personal development, such as physical, emotional, and spiritual health.

Personally, I have an addiction to books. I love them. I can’t stop buying them, reading them, and checking them out from the library. My personal library grows almost daily, and rather than rid myself of books, I simply invest in new bookshelves.

What about you? What are you feeding your mind? Any kind of information that you seek is available to you via books, recordings, or the internet. Need to learn more about marketing? Hundreds of marketing books await you. Feeling like you have let yourself go physically? There are countless books and resources on physical fitness. Anything and everything you wish to learn about is available to you, oftentimes absolutely free.

Even though the wealth of the world in terms of information, guidance,and advice on practically any topic is available, most people never take the time or make the investment to learn new skills. Most people are content to stay right where they are, not developing, not growing, not becoming more than they were yesterday. Most successful business people and others have autobiographies or biographies written about them. You don’t even need to know these people personally—just pick up a book about them to learn their secrets to success.

Just browse the library or a bookstore, and you can see how many books are sitting on the shelves, waiting for you to pick it up. If you’re not sure what book is best, go online and read book reviews that everyday people are writing, not the ones that come from the publisher. You’ll get much more realistic feedback from the gal at the salon than some canned, upbeat sales tactic.

There are materials available to you on any skill you want to possess and any attribute you wish to acquire. But you must take the time to read and learn and apply the wisdom you receive.

The most successful people I know never ever stop learning. They are on a constant quest to become more, to learn more, to perfect their craft and skills, and to improve themselves personally. So always be learning. In this day and age there is no excuse for allowing yourself to remain ignorant on a topic that would bring you growth. Stop making excuses, get a library card, and get learning!

TODAY: What are you feeding your mind? Are you learning new skills that will improve you financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and in your practice? If not, why not? Pick a topic that you want to learn more about and then get to a library or bookstore to get the resources you need to improve yourself. There’s no time like the present to grow your mind, your intellect, and yourself!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/suerichards/260764193/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/34053291@N05/3948369923/

Tags: Educate, Learning, Success Strategies
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How I Got Lost and Put In My Place at the State Fair

February 27th, 2011 at 10:27 am by Kendra Brodin

“If there is something to gain and nothing to lose by asking, by all means ask.” ~ W. Clement Stone

One day I was at the Minnesota State Fair—our great state “get-together”—along with about 120,000 others. We were having a fantastic day as a family, enjoying the beautiful weather, the decadent fair foods, and the company of another family with whom we are good friends.

Everything was going great until I stopped at the “milk stand” to buy cups of milk for myself, my husband, and our daughters. While I stood in line to get the milk, my husband and our friends went to get the food. My backpack and cell phone were in the bottom of the stroller, which my husband and children took (my first huge mistake!). I was supposed to get the milk and catch up with them, ultimately meeting at the Pizza Wagon.

And that is where things went horribly awry …

Apparently, things went quickly at the corn dog stand so my husband, children, and the other family all came back to the milk stand to get me. Unbeknownst to me, I headed off, carrying two full cups of milk. Not seeing them at the corn dog stand (and remember, there are about 119, 992 other people milling around), I headed toward the Pizza Wagon and waited. And waited…and waited.

After I standing by the Pizza Wagon holding two cups of lukewarm milk, I decided I somehow had missed the rest of my party. So I headed to what I thought was our final destination—the Little Hands Farm, a place where my young daughters get to wear aprons and learn about life on the farm.

I sat on a bench outside the entrance to the Little Hands Farm, choking back tears at missing this time with my girls at the fair, admittedly eating coffee-flavored custard to ease the pain until I was found.

Why do I tell this story? Because there was a valuable lesson in it for me. Once I reunited with my husband, daughters, and our friends, I instinctively asked my husband, “Why didn’t you go to the Pizza Wagon? Why did you take so long getting corn dogs? Why didn’t you think I would be sitting here waiting for you? Why did you …”

He interrupted my mini-rant to ask, “Why didn’t you ask someone to use their cell phone and call me?”

Gulp. He had a point, much to my chagrin.

There I was ranting about how this wasn’t my fault and I did everything just right and followed the plan to a “T” when he gently, but firmly reminded me that help was around me the whole time and I never saw it—if I only would have asked.

Normally I am very good at asking for what I need because I have found it to be so effective. I have lovely experiences most places I go (like restaurants, airports, and stores) because if something isn’t quite up to snuff, I ask politely for what I think would improve the experience. Or in relationships, both personal and professional, I gently but firmly ask for what it is that I think would make things better. It almost always serves to improve things and creates win-win situations, so I strongly believe in the power of asking.

But sometimes we (myself included) get so wrapped up in what we are doing, everything we have to do, and all of our commitments and obligations that we forget to ask for help. We grumble and complain about everything we have to do and how we can never get it all done when there are people around us that might just be willing to help us out.

We only see what is “wrong” that we forget to simply look around for someone to help. Or, we expect our loved ones and friends to psychically know they are somehow hurting or bothering us with a particular behavior, and then we get upset when they don’t stop. Nine times out of ten, people are more than willing to assist, help or even change. We just have to ask.

Remember to ask for what you need. Ask for help. Ask for whatever would make your life easier or more pleasant. But ASK! You will find it makes your life so much better. Yes, you may need to make yourself a little vulnerable. You might be denied. That’s okay—isn’t it worth it for the vast majority of times that things will actually work out in your favor and your life will be better off for it? It’s doesn’t hurt to ask!

TODAY: What is happening in your life that might shift, change, or be alleviated by just asking for what you need or desire? What is stopping you from asking? Get over yourself and ask for what you need—you will be pleasantly surprised at the number of times you will actually receive it!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thetrumpsters/3826397153/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/rainiernavidad/2776596693/

Tags: Ask for Help, Help with Your Practice
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The Art of Becoming: Part 4: Share More

February 10th, 2011 at 10:24 am by Kendra Brodin

“Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” ~ Norman Macewan

This is the fourth and final article in my series entitled “The Art of Becoming.” In the past three articles, we have considered the importance of: (1) “being more,” rooted in our own sense of self-image and self-worth; (2) “doing more,” meaning that we take consistent and aligned action with the self-image and vision for our life that we hold; and, (3) “having more,” enjoying the realization of the things in our life that we truly value and desire, financially, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

I am not the first person to talk about the “Be More, Do More, and Have More” idea. You may have heard it elsewhere—it is not new, though I have always found it to be meaningful wherever I saw it referenced. But I have never seen anything attached to it to direct us on what to do after we “have more.” What then? So what? Is “having more” the ultimate outcome?

So I have added a fourth step, a step that makes the whole process, “The Art of Becoming” feel much more cyclical and whole.

The fourth step is about “sharing more.” Once we become the person we seek to be, who is taking the actions that are aligned with our intentions and values, we will realize and attain those things that we are seeking. Yet if we simply keep all of that happiness, abundance, and bliss to ourselves, everything stagnates. The energy stops. We are created to be in community with others, and when we experience abundance, it is our joy to share it with others.

For our purposes, as we focus on “The Art of Becoming,” it is important to realize that when we give, when we share, we become more of the person we seek to be. This makes the cycle complete. First we become the person we aspire to be in our own vision and mind. Then we literally start taking the actions that an idealized person would take and enjoying the benefits that person would enjoy. Finally, we have the opportunity to share what we have attained. That final step in the process brings us full circle, back to the place where we began by allowing us to fully and completely “be” the person we envisioned.

“As you sow, so shall you reap.” We hear this often, but we also underestimate the wisdom in the short verse. As we sow (meaning plant or put out into the world), so shall we reap (meaning receive or bring back into our lives). To truly attain the good in our lives that we seek, we must put that good out into the world. The good we send out into the lives of others cannot help but return to us, which is why “sharing” is a critical piece in the “art of becoming” and completes the process. With our actions of sharing, we can start the circulation of abundance and joy with the lives of those we touch.

You can only give what you already have. Anything you give to others, you must first possess. Likewise, by “sharing” what you have received in the process of “becoming,” you truly possess whatever you have given. You have “become” a person who has love, self-respect, abundance, or whatever other attribute or possession you at first set out to acquire. It is truly yours when you share it with others.

“Being More,” “Doing More,” and “Having More” allow you to “Share More.” And “sharing more” allows you to “be more.” The cycle begins again. Life is a continuous process of “becoming,” and we are always growing and changing into deeper, better versions of ourselves. That is the human experience, and the journey is incredible. If you are not growing, you are dying—it is that way in all of nature. Continue to grow, continue to “become.” Your destiny is in your hands if you will take responsibility for it and step onto the path of “becoming.” It is the only path worth traveling in this life.

TODAY: Reflect on what “The Art of Becoming” means in your life. Where in your life do you want to be, do, have, and share more? I invite you to take time to really think through how this could change your life. I know it will change your life if you have the courage to truly start taking steps, no matter how small, that will help you create a masterpiece out of your own life. That is “The Art of Becoming.”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tobanblack/3773116901/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/funch/3264112407/

Tags: Self Improvement, Share Yourself, Sharing
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The Art of Becoming: Part 3: Have More

February 7th, 2011 at 10:21 am by Kendra Brodin

“Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.” ~ Oscar Wilde

This article is the third in a series entitled “The Art of Becoming.” In the past two articles, we have considered the importance of “being more” rooted in our own sense of self-image and self-worth, and “doing more,” meaning that we take consistent and aligned action with the self-image and vision for our life that we hold.

Next we must consider “having more.” Now I know that as soon as you hear that, you may think I am talking about having more material possessions and a huge bank account. Isn’t that what “having more” usually means? I think if we asked ten people on the street what they thought “having more” meant, most of them would equate it with financial or material gain.

But there is so much more to “having more.” Think about all of the things you could have more of in your life that would add significantly to your quality of life, even more so than money. Sometimes it takes a moment to shift out of our conditioned and patterned thinking that “having more” is all about the cash, the cars, and the homes, but think about those things that really make your life worth living, and then think about what having more of those things would mean in your life.

Would you want to have more of a relationship with your life partner?

Would you want to have more quality time with your children, family, and friends?

Would you want to have more of a spiritual connection?

Would you want to have more physical health, fitness, and strength?

Would you want to have more fulfillment and enjoyment in your work?

Would you want to have more happiness and peace of mind?

And, while it is not the only thing, but it is a significant thing, would you want to have more financial abundance in your life?

Think about other things that align with your ideals, values, and what’s important to you that you would like to experience more of in your life. You can “have” those things when you have taken the first two steps in the “Art of Becoming,” namely “being more” and “doing more.”

When you become the person who experiences the life you want and takes the actions necessary and aligned with that person, the result is inevitable—you will have more of what you are moving toward. Remember: the first step is to “Be More.”Identify what is most important to you, your values, your ideals, and your vision for your life. Think thoughts and have beliefs about yourself and the world around you that are in line with the person you want to be. Then “Do More.” Take actions that the person you are becoming would take, every day, no matter what.

Then you will “Have More.” You will have deeper relationships, if that is your value.You will have greater physical health, if that is what you want. You will have the fulfillment you desire in your work and the financial abundance that you seek. You will have the spiritual connection you long for. Anything you desire you can have—if only you will “Be More” and “Do More.” You personally are responsible for the image you carry around of yourself and the actions you take to achieve what your goals are—no one can go through this process for you. But you have the power to do it for yourself, and the endless possibilities that are within you will become reality when you follow this process.

TODAY: Make a list of the things you would like to have more of, whether they are financial, emotional, spiritual or physical. What can you do to be more and do more in order to achieve these goals so you can have more?

Next we will consider the fourth and final step in “The Art of Becoming”—what to do once you have achieved and attained what you desire. These are simple, but not easy steps. Be gentle and patient with yourself. These are choices that we make every single day, in a diligent manner. As you make a commitment to “Be More” and “Do More” then actually do that work, you will “Have More” of the objects of your “being” and “doing”—the goals and visions you have placed your focus upon. By taking these steps consistently, you will become the person you most aspire to be and will achieve the results in life that you desire.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/stuhaury/5362408497/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/missmiley/5292763690/

Tags: Become More, Do More to Become More, Invest in Self, Self Improvement
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The Art of Becoming: Part 1: Be More

February 1st, 2011 at 10:16 am by Kendra Brodin

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~ e.e. cummings

This article is the first in a series I’ve entitled “The Art of Becoming.” I called this series “The Art of Becoming” because these are truly the steps that will help you become the personyou aspire to be, taking the actions and achieving the results you desire. I want to share with you the four key steps to accomplishing anything you want in your life. The first step is to “Be More.”

It sounds like a strange question: “Who am I being?” But you can have no outward action without first making important shifts on the inside. Who is the person that you are on the inside? Are you truly thinking and believing like the person you want to be?

If you want to be a person who truly achieves real success in your finances, your law practice, your relationships, your spiritual or physical health and well-being, there are certain things you must believe in your own heart and mind. You cannot expect yourself to take new action, receive new experiences or things, or have the opportunity to share more if you do not first do the internal work to start that process in motion.

First, you must believe yourself capable of doing and receiving the things you envision and desire. Which of these statements are you more likely to say to yourself: “I know I am capable of taking the actions I need to take”, or “I could never do that. I’m not good enough. I’ll never succeed”? Instead of comparing yourself to others by saying, “She is so much better than me”, or “I don’t have what it takes to do this”, say, “It doesn’t matter what others do—I am the only ‘me’”, or “I have all the skills and knowledge it takes to start doing what I want to do, and I can learn the rest!”

Second, you must truly believe this in your heart and mind. It is not enough just to say this flippantly to yourself once in awhile or write it on a piece of paper that you look at from time to time. You must completely internalize these beliefs about yourself. If you do not truly believe yourself capable and able to act and take responsibility for your own actions, you will never take the actions you need to take. This takes time, repetition, and focus. Don’t believe that this will come immediately and you will wake up tomorrow believing different things about yourself than you do right now, but persist. It will take a while to re-teach yourself how to “talk to yourself.” (Check out Shad Helmstetter’s great book, What To Say When You Talk To Yourself for some ideas on how to do this.)

Third, when in doubt, act “as if.”What would the person you want to become believe about herself? Sometimes it is hard to make these shifts about what you believe about yourself and who you ultimately want to be. But you can take the time to figure out what others who are being and achieving what you want to be and achieve, believe about themselves and the world around them. Once you know that, if you can internalize those beliefs and start “being” the person you know you ultimately want to be, you will start to be that person.

As Cary Grant said, “I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be until finally I became that person. Or he became me.”Cary Grant habitually believed he was a famous, starring actor, among other things. He showed up like one, believed himself capable of being one, and ultimately became one. You can do the same: begin to consistently believe you are a financially abundant person, a loving partner, a dutiful parent, a spiritually-grounded person, or enjoying a physically fit body. Become this person in your mind, believe the things that kind of person would believe about yourself and the world around you.

TODAY: Take the first step. In order to “be more”, you must (1) believe in yourself, (2) internalize that belief, and (when in doubt) (3) act “as if”, believing and showing up the way you know the person you want to ultimately “be” would “show up” in the world.

Next we will consider the second step in “The Art of Becoming.” These are simple, but not easy steps. They encompass the powerful growth process that you must work through in order to become the person you want to be, and to achieve the results in life that you desire.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sweetonveg/5179031393/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/chelseasallyphotography/5325437788/

Tags: Be More, Become More, Believe in Yourself
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